Why Resilience Matters in Preschool — and How We Help Children Build It

Laureen Reynolds, Highlights Early Learning's Director of Product and former preschool teacher

Resilience isn’t just a buzzword — it’s one of the most important traits a young child can begin to develop. In the preschool years, building resilience lays the foundation for lifelong emotional well-being, social competence, and academic success.

At its core, resilience is the ability to bounce back from setbacks, regulate emotions, and face challenges with a positive, problem-solving mindset. While adults often think of resilience as something built through adversity, young children begin forming it in day-to-day moments — when they learn to wait their turn, manage frustration, express disappointment with words, or try again after a failed attempt.

The Building Blocks of Resilience

Research shows that resilience in early childhood is closely linked to several key developmental skills:

Emotional regulation 
According to the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University, emotional regulation is a cornerstone of resilience. Children who can manage big feelings like frustration, fear, and sadness are better equipped to cope with stress and adapt to change (Harvard, 2015). 

Positive thinking and optimism 
A positive outlook supports persistence. Studies show that when children are taught to reframe negative thoughts and view challenges as opportunities to grow, they’re more likely to stay engaged and bounce back from failure (Seligman et al., 2009). 

Productive emotional expression 
Young children need opportunities to name, express, and move through feelings constructively. Lessons and activities that explicitly teach emotional vocabulary and coping strategies help children build self-awareness and strengthen their social relationships (Denham et al., 2012). 

Problem-solving and executive function 
As the National Scientific Council on the Developing Child notes, resilient children demonstrate strong executive functioning skills — like impulse control, planning, and flexible thinking—which help them work through challenges and resolve conflicts constructively (NSCDC, 2015). 

Resilience Grows in Relationship 

Resilience isn’t something children are born with — it’s built over time through warm, responsive relationships with adults. Supportive environments give children a secure base from which they can explore, take risks, and learn to recover from mistakes. 

This is why intentional, play-based approaches that prioritize emotional awareness, kindness, and social skills are so effective. They offer children safe, meaningful opportunities to practice these essential resilience-building behaviors — whether through stories that explore feelings, songs that reinforce calming strategies, or group activities that encourage empathy and cooperation. 

Give It a Try! Play-Based Ways to Build Resilience 

Here are a few simple, classroom-friendly ideas that help your students grow resilience through everyday play: 

Calm-Down Corners 
Create a cozy area with soft pillows, books about emotions, sensory items, and visuals for breathing or stretching. Teach children how to use it when they feel overwhelmed — this builds emotional regulation and self-awareness. 

Feelings Charades 
Invite children to act out different emotions while others guess. This light-hearted game helps build emotional vocabulary and encourages healthy expression.

"What Could We Do?" Problem-Solving Circles 
Use social dilemmas from stories or classroom life (“Someone knocked over your tower — what could you do?”) to spark group discussion. Model and reinforce flexible thinking and peaceful problem-solving. 

Resilience Stories and Puppetry 
Read books or use puppets to show characters facing challenges and bouncing back. Ask guiding questions like, “How did they keep trying?” or “What helped them feel better?” 

Gratitude Circle Time 
Start or end the day with a round of “What made you smile today?” Regularly focusing on positive experiences nurtures optimism and a growth mindset. 

Breathing Buddies 
Have each child lie down with a small stuffed animal on their belly. As they take slow breaths and watch their buddy rise and fall, they practice mindfulness and calming strategies. 

These activities don’t just support social-emotional growth — they help children build inner strength, one playful moment at a time. 

Like these ideas? There are so many more in our Kindness Connections enrichment kit! 

References 

Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. (2023). What is resilience? 
https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/what-is-resilience/

Denham, S. A., Bassett, H. H., Zinsser, K., & Wyatt, T. (2012). How preschoolers’ social–emotional learning predicts their early school success: Developing theory‐promoting, competency‐based assessments. Infant and Child Development, 21(6), 667–706. 
https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1750-8606.2012.00246.x

National Scientific Council on the Developing Child. (2015). Executive function & self-regulation. Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. 
https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/executive-function/

Seligman, M. E. P., Ernst, R. M., Gillham, J., Reivich, K., & Linkins, M. (2009). Positive education: Positive psychology and classroom interventions. Oxford Review of Education, 35(3), 293–311. 
https://doi.org/10.1080/03054980902934563