What Kids Really Think About Kindness
A note from Highlights Early Learning
We’re thrilled to partner with our friends at Kindness.org to keep shining a light on the power of kindness at every age. Kindness.org has done important and insightful research about what kindness means and looks like to kids ages 9–17. The results only affirm that, from birth, children intuitively seek and mirror kindness. This means that all of us have the power and privilege to nurture that inherent goodness and desire to give and receive acts of compassion, generosity, and care at every stage of development, starting from day one.
We hope you’ll enjoy this guest post from Kindness.org and their and consider sharing it with colleagues who work with older children or with families of school-aged kids.
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We all talk to our kids about being kind, but how often do we stop to ask them what they think kindness really means?
That’s the question a recent research study from kindness.org set out to answer. Kindness.org’s research division, Kindlab, partnered with the National School Climate Center and Welcoming Schools to conduct the Kid Kindbase Study, a first-of-its-kind national survey that explored how kids and teens define, understand, and practice kindness - and how that compares to what adults believe about them.
The results? Insightful, heartwarming, and full of hope for our future world leaders.
Listening to Kids About Kindness
In the study, over a thousand kids and teens ages 9–17 from across the U.S. completed an online survey that asked them to rate 15 different acts of kindness by how kind, difficult, and beneficial they seemed. In total, 173 different acts of kindness were rated. The researchers also asked two open-ended questions:
- “What’s the kindest thing anyone has done for you?”
- “What one thing could make your school kinder?”
Their answers revealed a lot about what kindness looks like from a child’s perspective.
When kids reflected on the kindest thing anyone had done for them, one theme stood out: help. Whether it was a classmate offering support, a teacher lending an ear, or a friend stepping in during a tough time, kids most often defined kindness as someone helping them when they needed it most.
When asked how their school could be kinder, kids overwhelmingly focused on reducing bullying and creating more inclusive, caring environments.
What Kids Think Kindness Is (and Isn’t)
One of the most eye-opening findings was that kids and teens see kindness differently from adults.
- Kids view kindness as helping others, no matter the cost to themselves.
- Adults tend to believe kindness means helping others specifically when it’s hard or costly to you.
In other words, kids see kindness as something natural and immediate. It’s about showing up for someone - not about sacrifice or selflessness. And they believe they’re doing a pretty good job of it! In fact, most kids rated themselves as kinder than adults think they are.
The Top Kind Acts, According to Kids and Teens
While the specifics varied by age, one common thread ran through all groups: helping and standing up for others.
Kids (ages 9–12) said the kindest acts were:
- Reminding someone that they are important
- Standing up for someone who is being picked on
- Helping someone who falls over in the street
Teens (ages 13–17) agreed, but added:
- Writing a letter to a child who is ill in the hospital
- Standing up for someone being bullied or treated unfairly because of their identity
Adults, when asked about kids’ kindness, highlighted:
- Helping someone who is visually impaired cross the street safely
- Standing up for someone who is picked on or bullied
Across all ages, kindness was tied to empathy, action, and courage, especially when it came to supporting others in need.
Why This Matters
Understanding how young people view kindness helps parents, teachers, and caregivers nurture it more effectively. It gives us a glimpse into how kids see the world and what they value most: helping, inclusion, and belonging.
The researchers behind the Kid Kindbase study hope their findings will guide new tools and programs that help children practice kindness in ways that feel authentic to them. As they put it, “We’re one generation away from a kinder world.”
That starts with listening to kids—and letting their ideas lead the way.
How Families Can Keep the Conversation Going
At home, you can help your child explore kindness by:
- Asking open-ended questions like, “What’s something kind you noticed today?”
- Talking about moments of kindness you see in your community or on TV
- Brainstorming small, everyday acts your family can do to make others feel cared for
Because when we understand what kindness means to kids, we empower them to make it real—in their classrooms, their friendships, and the world around them.
To access free activities for kids at home, visit www.kindness.org/kids-and-families and for research-based lessons at school, visit kindness.org/learnkind.
Read more about the full Kid Kindbase research study here.